If you exclude getting shot of an affliction that led him to go on gargantuan benders and give his bedsheets the same unmistakable golden caress as the crotch of Billy Bob Thornton's Santa suit, Tony Adams has never looked much like a quitter. So imagine the Fiver's surprise when news came through today that the epiphany on legs had quit Wycombe Wanderers after just over a year in charge!

"I would like to thank everybody connected with Wycombe," sermonised the pious artist formerly known as Donkey, as the Fiver's Volvic mysteriously turned into Chardonnay. With the club having not won a league game since September 11, 2004, Adams cited the conveniently ambiguous, ubiquitous "personal reasons" for his decision. And then the dog ate his homework.

But although Adams can play the piano and is a big fan of Jane Austen, it looks like he has made as big a dog's dinner of his resignation as he did of the Wycombe team - because, like Basil Fawlty's least-favourite waiter, the club know nothing! "Wycombe Wanderers Football Club is not able to comment on the media specluation concerning the resignation of Tony Adams," thundered a statement, and yes they did misspell speculation.

"As of 2pm today the club has not recieved (yes, etc and so forth) a formal resignation from Tony Adams. It undersatands (yep) that the manager has spoken to the players and various media outlets," it sneered, locking eyes with the Fiver and easing a finger pointedly across the throat. "If there are any further developments the club will issue an official statement." Hopefully they'll take a phew deep breaths before publishing next time, eh?